The LYNX Effect

Out of the blue, an email dropped into my inbox.

According to the email, I’d been hired to be the main male interest in a new LYNX deodorant advert.

“The only thing is,” I said to the producer on the morning of the shoot, “is that I’d much rather wear my own deodorant, rather than that horrible, polluting shite we’re touting.”

“Well,” he said, scratching his square chin, “I’m not sure that the women will come running from the undergrowth if you’re not wearing LYNX. And that’s what we’re after here.”

I was forced to put my foot down, citing that there was nowhere in the contract that said I was obliged to actually wear LYNX, especially with the offense it caused my eco-sensibilities, let alone my nostrils.

But it turned out he was right. Not a single woman approached me.

Instead, they ran to one of the junior trainees, who was wearing LYNX, thereby proving that there is indeed a LYNX effect – although he was a good-looking boy, so the proof wasn’t definitive.

Redundant of my role, they made us switch jobs – me mostly making cups of tea, while he took centre stage in my place.

Standing about between making rounds, I click and collected a couple of different flavours of LYNX to pick up from Superdrug when I was next in town, pushing my eco-sensibilities to the side for trial period.

vss #40