Flags

In a moment of impulsive inspiration, with summer just around the corner, I invested in a flagpole.

At first I didn’t have any flags to hoist up the pole, so I hung my biggest pair of trousers up there.

Even though it was only intended as a placeholder, I started to notice groups of tourists coming by to take photos of my trousers at full mast – it turned out that someone from the local council liked my flagpole, so had included it in their list of Local Things to Do.

I tracked the councillor down and suggested that we have a meeting – arguing that it’s my independently funded flagpole bringing money to the town, so I deserve something back for that – but he wasn’t sure how we could monetise the idea

I wasn’t prepared to accept his reasoning and pressed the issue. In response, he threatened to take my flagpole off his town guide.

Well, I thought, bollocks to that. Let the tourists come. But they won’t get to see my trousers.

With some fury and extra fortitude, I took my trousers down – they needed a wash anyway, to be honest.

In their place I’ve hoisted up my plastics recycling bag. Let’s see if the council can reap what they sow.

I’ve set a reminder to lower the bag every Tuesday fortnight.

vss #21

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